And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
