Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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