just come out here and I will go home with you...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
