I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
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