just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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