how can u be prego again
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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