I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
