I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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