it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
