Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
