I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
