is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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