He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
3 2 1 whiskey
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
