69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
