What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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