Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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