Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize