why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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