you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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