how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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