New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
