living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
