how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
