She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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