you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
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