apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
