i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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