the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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