just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize