He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
