sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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