Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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