Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?