Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.