you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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