Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.

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(515): View more from Iowa

If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend

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(210): View more from Texas

"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(775): View more from Nevada

they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.

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(850): View more from Florida

They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers

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(303): View more from Colorado

so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???

(1-303): View more from Colorado

all of the above

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(856): View more from New Jersey

MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP

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