I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand