"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding