I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
