so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
ugly people sure do ruin things
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
