Nicole vs. Life
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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