I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
