dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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