I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
