return my video game
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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