Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
