just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I didn't notice because vodka
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
