Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
