i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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