Don't make out with my wife yet
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
