the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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