8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
