Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
