All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
