Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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