oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
