Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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