Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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