Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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