guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
