i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
