she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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