when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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