May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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