watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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