Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
