i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
