Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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