I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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