if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
