I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
