Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
