Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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