Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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