so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
