Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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